Joy in the Journey

You know, I think there is hope.

My thanks go out to Geoff Elliott and Eric Mack for their compassion and concern for me. These are great guys. Geoff's blog isn't much unless you're a geek (like me), but Eric's blog is a great all-purpose read. He's kind of like me, except more...gathered. ;)

Speaking of being a geek, I'm sitting here trying to convert b0se's Codename: Opus 3.0 visual style to a WindowBlinds theme. Not gonna do it. I don't know what the deal is, but it's not going to work. I've tried it on two PCs now, and it just gets all buggy and wierd. Hopefully either he or Snidely Whiplash will get around to converting it eventually. I don't have time to troubleshoot stuff like this...although it's a great theme. If you're into msstyles (e.g. a patched Uxtheme.dll), then I'd recommend it highly.

Anyway, this has absolutely no relevance to my stated title. But the good news is that I'm not whining. Yes, it's true. I'm actually not depressed. Really, I haven't been for a couple of weeks now. I knew I needed to get this blog updated when both Geoff and Eric contacted me to encourage me. They're good guys. It's good to know people care.

I'm not sure exactly what brought the change about. When Geoff and I were talking on IRC, he brought up the idea of learning to be happy in the wilderness. I think that's probably been a big part of it for me...just learning to be content. One of my biggest frustrations comes from my desire to mold my children into good people. But it occurred to me that my efforts to mold them (at least by being a disciplinarian) will only cause the opposite. People need to be who they are, even when they're kids. I always resented it when I felt like my mother did that to me, and I'm sure they'll grow to resent me as well if I continue. So, I "chilled out." It made all the difference in the world. That's not to say that all the questions are answered or that I don't still have bad days--but things are really getting better. And I'm grateful, both to God and man for their intervention.

Another great thing that's helped immensely is being able to get my computer consulting business off the ground. I've been able to do about $200 worth of business in the last two weeks, which is a really good start for Smalltown USA. It feels good to be able to pay the bills, you know?

I think the other thing that really made the difference has been a renewed focus on journaling and prayer...concurrently. I'm not one of those who does well verbally "talking to God" for long periods of time. But if I get behind a computer keyboard, everything changes. If you're the kind who has trouble praying, I'd recommend it highly. I usually start at Sacred Space and use it as my guide through a time of Lectio Divina.

Anyway...I'm finding some joy in the journey. Where am I at with being a pastor? Fine for now. Where will I be long-term, like years down the road? I don't know. Only God knows. He only gives me enough light for my feet. If He gave me more, I'd run away, I know it.

Gratia vobis et pax.