the problem with sickness

I mentioned earlier that my wife is in very bad shape right now. As I think about Jesus in the Gospels, and the way He intended for us to be - naturally supernatural - I struggle a bit with my wife's illness. This disease is, according to the earthly doctors, chronic and incurable. I know that's not the final word...but here we are. Struggling. It doesn't seem fair that a beautiful, 30-year-old woman should have to deal with these things. Granted, others have dealt with far greater tragedy than this--but that doesn't make it any easier.

Do we lack faith? I mean, it's pretty consistent through the Gospels that Jesus heals on the basis of two things: His discretion, and faith...mostly the second. In Mark 1:40-45, we read the account of a leper who came to Jesus, saying, "If you choose, you can make me clean." We see both elements at work there--the leper believed in Jesus' ability to cleanse him. And because of his faith, Jesus chose to deliver. So, I wonder if we lack faith for healing today. Do we even understand what it means to have faith for healing?

Sometimes it seems as though we humans--and especially we USAmericans--define ourselves by our pain and suffering. We do scores of things to hurt ourselves and then use that as the framework for the, "this
is why I am the way that I am" discussion. I guess my question is, "Do we even want to be healed?" There's no pity, no handouts, far fewer excuses if we are healed. Yet when Jesus swept into people's lives, that just what he did--He healed them.

So, the bigger question becomes...do we really know Jesus? Are we really living in the kingdom?