Scared spitless.

People ask me how I'm doing nowadays...and that's the best answer I can give them. Scared spitless. Let's go down the list...I'm getting married in 7 days. I'm jobless 2 days before that. I'm starting a faith venture without a clue where in the world I'm going--except that I'm trying to be relevant...whatever that is. Oh yes, and I'm going to be a daddy 3-times over in a week, too. Scared spitless.

Today was spent in Sioux Falls at the mall, trudging through continuing ed. stuff for my credentials while my dear fiancee went "wedding night" shopping. I really battled with discouragement as I studied the Assembly of God's bylaws, learning more about their position on cross-denominationalism. Basically, not. Don't go there. It can create "confusion and division." Oh, that's not what they say exactly, but that's implied. So, I'm a little worried about this process of starting a new church--not only is it something radically different than anything done around here before, but it's cross-denominationally planted, and non-denominational in scope. In other words, I'll be really lucky if I get to keep my credentials, much less get any endorsement for the work from my denomination. But my district superintendent is a forward-thinker, and I'm holding on to that. The A/G is changing...much like a slow-moving dinosaur, but it's happening. I pray that I can be a part of that process.

Another thing that hit me as I studied today was the topic of worldliness. Would somebody please define that for me? I'm really curious as to what, exactly, "worldliness" means. To some, I would probably seem worldly. Heck, to many, what we're doing here would seem worldly--especially since I'm not a "shove-it-down-your-throat-until-you-get-saved" kind of evangelist. A modernist evangelist friend of mine would say I've compromised horribly.

I'd like to think I'm living Jesus-style.

Remember, we're not so worried about the appearance of evil--that's not really what the Bible says. We're worried about the reality of it. Or the intention of it. I know I'm not guilty of at least one of those. You pick.

Maybe it's both. We can only hope.